I am glad that my daughter’s school held a broader definition of bullying and the teachers were vigilent in dealing with such cases.
When she was in P4, she was the victim of bullying but I didn’t recognize it. I associated bullying with being physically attacked or extorted from. Only after this incident did I learn that bullying can take on different forms, including verbal, emotional, sexual and cyber. Some of these can be just as, or more damaging to the victim, and usually harder to detect. I asked if she was ok with me sharing her story and she said yes.
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In P4, she was streamed into a new class and started forming a close friendship with 3 other girls. Amongst them was a more domineering girl (let’s call her D) who became the ‘leader’. After a month or so, D started to ostracise her and the other 3 followed suit. They would gang up against her and talk behind her back. It got to an extent where D told the entire class not to let her join any of their groups, be it during PE or in class project work. She was treated like an outcast.
I shudder to think how much damage could have been wrecked on her emotionally if the issue had failed to be recognised or resolved. Being the victim of bullying can lead children and teenagers into depression and even the contemplation of suicide.
As parents, we can help by having constant communication with our children and to take their concerns seriously. Some kids may not be willing to open up which makes it more difficult to address. We can only try and be on the look out for clues such as changes in their behaviour, frequent physical malaise like stomachaches / headaches, or a sudden reluctance to go to school. I am really thankful that her teacher handled the situation in a tactful, caring, and professional manner.

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About MummyWee
Michelle Choy is an Occupational Therapist by day and mum of 6 by night. Besides the already very demanding job of managing 5 teenagers and one 7-turning-17 tween, she is also Founder of The Little Executive, a nurturing centre to develop children in areas like resilience and executive function, to survive today’s volatile world. She is also a parenting coach and has been featured on national TV, radio and print media.
Sometimes, it may be 'good' to encounter such 'bullying' situations early in life as it may help one to handle similar situations even in the working world.
The good thing was that we were able to learn from this experience and teach the other children about dealing with bullies and also helping their friends to recognise when bullying occurs. I'm sure the class also learnt a lot from this episode. Thankfully it didn't manage to drag on for long if not who knows what lasting impact it would have had on her. It is hard for children to have to deal with the additional stress of being an outcast and having the whole class treat you like you have the plague at an age where they are trying to fit in. Their self-esteem might not have been developed and it can be very traumatising.
Really great that her teacher took on such a pro-active role to resolve the problem in time as well, instead of brushing it aside. A lesson for all involved..
Ai @ Sakura Haruka
Yes you are right, Ai. It could have turned out badly if the teacher had not believed or understood the extent of what was happening.
I guess it helped that her teacher liked her as she was a quiet and obedient child. The other girl was quite a domineering child.