Life Lesson #6: Passion vs Family

In one of my previous lessons, I mentioned that as mothers, we tend to over-sacrifice for our children at the expense of our own needs. Recently, I had a rather interesting conversation with a friend’s husband, and it got me thinking about a different kind of sacrifice. What happens when your hobby is in direct conflict with your family life? His hobby is mountaineering, and now that he has children, he is in a dilemma. Does he forgo his passion for the sake of his family? Because there is definitely an element of danger attached to his hobby. The obvious thing for him to do, as some people would conclude, is to give up his hobby as the risk is not worth it. However, as any avid adventurer would explain, their hobby is so much a part of their lives that after some months of staying at home, it feels as if something is not quite right. And like he says, he misses the mountains, the freedom of the space, the exhilaration.

As the conversation went on, he pointed out that actually, a lot of people are in a somewhat similar situation, where they have to consider giving up one for the other. He gave an example of a freelance artist. This person may have been very happy doing commissioned paintings every now and then. However, after the children came along, the irregular pay check starts to be a problem for the family and he is pressured into ‘looking for a proper job that can pay the bills’. I’m sure there are lots of people facing such a scenario. And they probably end up in a ‘proper job’ which they don’t look forward to. If only we could marry the two. Where our passions can generate sufficient income for the family. 

For us stay-at-home-mums, it’s a tough job where we go to work with no knock-off time. Don’t even think about hobbies and passions. However, after recognising that I need to spare a thought for myself and subsequently penning down my bucket list in my previous post, things started churning. A friend read that I wanted to give talks and told me about the charity centre where she had been giving talks. So the date is set, and I’m going to give my first talk in more than 10 years! Guess what the topic is? Parenting 6 kids without going mad or broke! Hope that people will actually turn up to listen to what I have to share. I have also booked a trip to take my mum on a pilgrimage next month. This is all so exciting. I was just declaring to a close friend, “I feel alive!”

Now I am starting to get an inkling of how people who have to give up their hobbies and passions feel. And I realise just how important it is to have passion in our lives. It drives us, motivates us, makes us come alive!
“There is no passion to be found playing small – in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living” – Nelson Mandela

P.S: For those of you SAHMs where your hands are full, don’t think too much about it. All in good time. There’s a season for everything. Now is your season to nurture your children and plant deep roots. Throw your passion into being the best mum you can be! There is nothing like parenthood to grow a person. I’m sure you will emerge from this wiser, more giving, and more humane. 

Other life lessons (which I’ve learnt the hard way):

Life Lesson #2: Don’t over-sacrifice
Life Lesson #4: My bucket list
Life Lesson #6: Passion vs Family
Linking up with:

~ www.mummyweeblog – a blog on parenting 6 kids in Singapore ~

7 Replies to “Life Lesson #6: Passion vs Family”

  1. Have been following your blog via facebook and am encouraged by your drive to take care of your kids. I only have one 7mo and I'm wondering how I'm going to handle 2 when #2 comes (not any time soon).

    All the best for your first speaking engagement. I'm very sure your story will touch and encourage many other women who are wondering if they should have more children.

  2. Thank you! I will update the talk details once everything's firmed up. Hope you guys can come and support 🙂 Oh, yes, that's a good point. Never considered that. Having so many kids has become such a part of our lives that I don't even think it's any different.

  3. Can I just say wow and what a great joy to be doing that you love! You're one inspiration to me Michelle and I hope that more doors of opportunities open for you.

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