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Postnatal depression is real

Hearing about the mother jumping to her death with her newborn in her arms was just so heart-breaking. Mental illness is still a hush-hush topic. It shouldn’t be, and mindsets need to change.

 We need to raise awareness and remove the taboo surrounding depression so that new mums have the courage to seek help. I was planning to share my own experience and was heartened to see a fellow mummy blogger Justina from Mum in the Making post on her Instagram account – Depression is NOT a dirty word, where she shared her own battle with PND and encouraged other mums to do so as well.

 When #1 was born, we were studying overseas and did not have any help at all. Besides the usual household chores of cooking and cleaning, we were studying full time and had a newborn on our hands. With no experience and no advice from anyone, all I could do was to read books on getting baby into a routine. They were not particularly useful and I did not know at that time that her crying had almost everything to do with her lack of sleep.

She cried all the time and had to be carried. The hubs would try pacifying and rocking her, but when she cried incessantly for hours on end, he gave up. On days when the hubs was at school the whole day, I carried her until my arms ached and in desperation would plonk her on the bed while I went into another room to cry. I didn’t know what to do with this baby who was driving me insane. I was waking up every 2 hours to feed her and I went to classes exhausted. Besides all that, I had many other concerns weighing on my mind.


There were these community huts where we took #1 for her regular check-ups. I remember the nurse doing the usual developmental milestone checks for her and she gave me a questionnaire to complete.

I still remember what she said to me, which was very cryptic at that point. “Oh dear, we would like you to come in again in a week, not so much for bubs, but for you.”

It was only a year later while working in the mental health community hospital that I understood. I was looking through the different questionnaires for depression and chanced upon the same one that I did. I roughly remembered my score and was stunned to discover that I fell under the moderate to severely depressed category! Every time I went to the cosy little hut, the nurse would have a chat with me about our situation and my concerns, and those were counselling sessions!

 Imagine what new mums have to go through. Apart from the rollercoaster of hormones after the birthing process, there may be extreme physical changes and pain to deal with, and external worries such as work and childcare arrangements, added responsibilities, expectations, and even clashes in child-rearing philosophies with the grandparents. The list is endless. Plus round the clock demands of tending to a new baby who doesn’t come with a manual.

These unexpected emotions and avalanche of changes may be overwhelming, and mothers need to be reassured that there is nothing wrong with them and they should talk to somebody about it and ask for help. I have heard stories of how some mums had thoughts of harming their baby or even trying to fit their baby into the rubbish chute before suddenly ‘waking up’ and being shocked at what they were about to do.

 Just as motherhood is a beautiful experience, it can also be a lonely and terrifying experience. No one can understand exactly what we are feeling nor going through. And sometimes we need to put on a brave front and soldier on because we want to shelter the other kids from our stress and not give our family members undue worries.

The motherhood journey is not easy. Yet in this journey, we rediscover ourselves. The depth of our love, the layers of our being. If you were to ask me now, after having 6 kids, do I regret it? Despite all the pain and difficulties, the answer is a firm no.

 Let us open the conversation on depression and acknowledge that it is real and could happen to any of us.

 May we find support in our families and communities and draw strength from other mothers.

 May we walk with open eyes and outstretched arms to see another mum’s needs and provide support where we can.

~ www.mummyweeblog.com – A blog on parenting 6 kids in Singapore ~

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Life Lesson #22: What does it take to keep a marriage going?

I have friends married for the second time and they tell me, “It’s not easy raising kids and keeping the marriage going. Please share your wisdom!”

I’m embarressed to say that I don’t have much advice to dole out, and happily married for 18 years is hardly an accurate description of our union. I’m still scratching my head, because those successful marriage cliches like “don’t go to bed angry” or “go on date nights” are easier said than done. In the first 10 years of our marriage, I didn’t even have time for proper meals, let alone go out for fun?

Anyhow, OUR MARRIAGE SURVIVED 18 YEARS!

I don’t know how we made it through all those years with 6 kids thrown into the mix. It must be God’s grace.

The odds were stacked against it.

We’ve had (more than) our fair share of arguments revolving around the usual issues of differing parenting styles, chore division, financial burdens, plus we were young. Young, immature and saddled with a child. And then some more. The responsibilities and obligations kept mounting, and statistically, this marriage would never work.

Seeing our brood, people tell us how fortunate we are, and automatically assume that it must have been a textbook marriage. It couldn’t be further from the truth.

We all know what the experts say. Get married for the right reason, find common interests, communicate, communicate, communicate. I totally agree that all of that makes things so much easier.

But relationships are complicated matters. What if most of it doesn’t apply to the both of you?

Friends who know us find us really amusing as we are poles apart in so many ways.

Common interests? The hubs spends hours on the golf course, while I do yoga with some mummy friends. I enjoy watching deep, meaningful movies, while slapstick comedy or battling it out on screen with the kids is his preferred form of entertainment.

He fills our travels with activities while I prefer to simply stroll around and absorb new cultures. When we were up in the mountains of Switzerland, his aim was to make it to the top and take lots of jaw-dropping pictures. Me? I stopped halfway, and I just had to sit there for an hour, letting the vast expanse of the snow-capped mountains envelop me. It was such a profund experience, being transported right into the palm of creation, listening to the sound of silence. When we regrouped, he was ecstatically showing me his amazing crisp shots while I was trying to explain my experience. We both could not comprehend the other.

Time and again, we hear how important communication is in a marriage. Well, the hubs is a man of few words, and when my friends with caucasian husbands sweep them off their feet with words alone, I do wish he was more eloquent. But I guess there are different levels of communication, no? I understand the hubs, without words.

We don’t share the same religion, and in the early years when I saw happy couples in church with their offsprings, how I wished we had the same faith as surely, life would be easier.

I love to read and ponder things. He loves to tinker with gadgets and machines. He cooks, and I eat. Well, maybe marriage experts meant complimentary interests?

doesn’t this make you hungry?

In today’s world with social media encroaching into our days, one unfortunate effect is the “if only” syndrome. Suddenly, we are privy to other people’s private lives. Well, the polished parts, mostly. If only we could afford luxurious holidays like the Tans, we would be happy and smiling.. If only you would buy me big, expensive gifts, our marriage would be blissful.. If only, if only.

Over the past two decades, our circumstances have changed in so many ways.

We tried to build a business together, in the hope of giving our children better opportunies, but it failed, and we went through tough times with no money in the bank and several mouths to feed.

We used to live all crammed together, 7 in a room (before Kate was born), together with my in-laws. Now, we have a nice place to live in, with lots of space. And if one day all of these were taken away, I doubt it would matter very much.

Material possessions do not make a marriage fundamentally any better. Yes, perhaps for a brief moment. Soon enough, whatever unhappiness or discontent that was there, will still be there.

Over the past 18 years, we have been through so much. How did we make it this far?

I think it was simply these. Trust, shared values and commitment. A promise to stick together. To try, and try again. No matter how hard the going got.

Happiness can be here. In good times or in bad. In a big house or a small room. In health or in sickness.

Look around us. The institution of marriage and family is being threatened. Raising kids and keeping a marriage going are probably 2 of the hardest things to do.

But they are worth it, aren’t they?

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Other life lessons (which I’ve learnt the hard way):

Life Lesson #2: Don’t over-sacrifice
Life Lesson #4: My bucket list
Life Lesson #6: Passion vs Family

 

~ www.mummyweeblog.com – a blog on parenting 6 kids in Singapore ~
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A Day in the Life of a Mum with 6 kids

For the past 4 years, I was a stay-at-home-mum, and prior to that, I worked from home for a decade so that I could be around for my kids as they were growing up.

 Now that #1 is turning 18 and not-so little Kate is in school for 4 hours a day, I can finally pursue my own work without feeling bad that I have left so many kids at home to be cared for by the helper and a hubs whose eyes are focused on the computer screen most of the day.

 The funny thing is, the kids are so used to the hubs and I both being at home that they find it a novelty that mum goes to work!

 When they see me coming down all dressed (instead of being in home attire most of the time), the teenagers will ask, “Mum, where are you going?”

“To work.”

 “Oh wow, you have work to go to.” They are amused, and I’m sure they are (secretly) proud of me. Well, I hope.

Our Brady bunch

So how do I juggle my days now that I am a working mum?

 As my own boss of an enrichment centre, I am fortunate to have the flexibility of time and can choose to work partly from home. The flip side however, is that even when I’m home, I tend to be on the computer (there is always more to do!) and Kate has pleaded with me on several occasions, “Mummy, can you stop your computer and play with me?” I need more self-restraint to block out time meant for the kids!

 My weekday schedule hasn’t changed all that much as I try to fit my work schedule around the kids’ school day. In the mornings while the kids are in school, I go to my centre for training, brainstorming sessions or to touch base with my staff. I leave at 12noon to pick Kate up and spend the afternoons with the kids as they return home from school. After the younger kids have gone to bed, I get some work done before calling it a night at 12 or 1am, although some nights I’m exhausted and fall asleep while putting Kate to bed.

 My weekend. The day which has changed the most for me is Saturday. I documented our Saturday a year ago, where it was a balance between seeing to the younger and older kids’ different needs while making time for simple activities as a family.

 Now, I work almost every Saturday, to personally run our weekly trial classes as our concept is new to parents and many do not understand what we do even after browsing our website. I have come to enjoy these sessions as we are on this parenting journey together, and it is always nice to get to know the parents of the kids whom we are working with.

Our Little Executives

Saturday mornings: I take Kate along with me, and she attends her class while I speak to the parents. Some days she stays the whole day with me, and keeps herself entertained by playing with the other kids at our centre, or simply playing by herself.

Meanwhile at home, the 4 older kids sleep in on weekends to make up for the sore lack of sleep on school days. My dad has learnt to Whatsapp them directly to see who is at home, and my parents will detour to the market to buy brunch over so that our helper doesn’t have to cook.

 My mum will see to the needs of the kids and ensure everything is ok. She usually spends time chatting with the teens and takes an afternoon nap in their rooms. My parents have been such a life saver for the past 18 years, and even though they are in their 70s, they enjoy their role and the company of the kids.

 Afternoons: Some days, the hubs might come by to my centre with #4 and #5  to pick Kate up. He has stepped up to the plate knowing that I am busy with work. Wish I had done this earlier!

 There are times when I can’t figure out what they get up to when he sends across such pictures, but I’m glad he is spending more time bonding with them. Now that I’m at home much less to supervise him, #5 spends too much time watching TV and playing on the computer, so the more time in nature, the better.

Dad.. we are exhausted

This Saturday arrangement has been working well and occasionally, I get time in between my sessions to meet up with old friends for lunch to celebrate birthdays.

 Initially, when I started to work on Saturdays, I was apprehensive about being away on a weekend when everyone else was at home, but it has turned out really well and Kate has been enjoying her Saturdays tremendously. Time alone with mummy. Fun times with daddy and siblings. Friends to play with or going out for nice meals. What more can she ask for?!

Evenings: I return home in the late afternoon or evening, depending on how many sessions I run, and the hubs would be fixing a nice dinner for the kids. We sit with them for an early dinner (around 6pm) and have a few small bites while seeing that they are all fed.

 Once everything is settled, we prepare to head out to meet with friends for dinner, leaving the older girls in charge.

 Although we have been going out much less as a family these past 2 months due to me working on Saturdays and preferring to stay in on Sundays to rest and recharge, the timing couldn’t be better as #4 has been busy with PSLE preparations and #2 has been spending the weekends catching up on sleep and studying for her O level exams which commences next week.

Occasionally, the hubs will cook up a storm or start a little BBQ and roast some nice meats, and my parents and brother’s family will join us for dinner or we might head out nearby to have dinner together.

Slow roasted BBQ ribs

Night out: It’s nice to relax and unwind from a long week over a nice dinner with 1 or 2 other couples, and there’s usually some interesting event going on somewhere.

Late night: After a heavy meal, I find it hard to sleep so what’s the best thing to do when the kids are asleep and the house is dead quiet? Besides the hottest topic everyone is heated up over these past few days..

 I work. My work is akin to a hobby. I turn to it every spare moment I have, and it brings me great joy and satisfaction.

 If my brain cells are buzzing, I’ll put in some heavy work like reading research papers, writing up rationales of our curriculum or doing some bookkeeping. But if I’m brain-fried, I’ll do relaxing work like blogging or sorting the kids/family admin, which is another never-ending task!

Wine pairing dinner

It may be unimaginable, but I’m happiest now than I have ever been since having kids.

 I don’t know if anyone can relate to this, but there was a period of more than 5 years when I did not have time to meet with friends nor go out with the hubs. It was routine, routine, routine. So much so that now as I make time to re-connect with old friends, my kids are surprised. “Mum, we didn’t know you had so many friends!” Yup, I’m accustomed to such bluntness. Is it just my teens?

Getting the 5 young kids to eat, sleep, and bathe took up my entire day and every ounce of energy. The focus was more like 95% kids, 5% work (to hang on to my sanity), 0% me, 0% fun. I didn’t know any better, but oh well, I survived and emerged stronger.

 After 18 years, I finally have balance.

 Family time with the children, yet ample time away from them which is just as important.

 Work which I enjoy; both meaningful and mentally stimulating, and working with passionate, like-minded educators who bring energy to my days.

 Time with the hubs, good friends, and adult conversations where we chat and laugh ourselves silly, as I have almost forgotten how it feels to enjoy the company of friends without my thoughts constantly revolving around the kids.

 I become more ready to take on the new week.

 I am in a good place now.

 For that, I am thankful.


For more glimpses into our days, this is how my week looks like. It does get pretty crazy around here! The last time I documented my weekday was 2 years ago when Kate was 2, and looking back, things have changed significantly.

Next up on this blog train is Dorothea, a mum of two boys, aged 6 and 4. She writes about life, love, parenting and faith at A Pancake Princess, and is also a regular contributor to The New Age Parents, an online magazine. These days, she also enjoys crafting customised artwork and holding watercolour / calligraphy workshops, and goes by the name of Dottishop. Meanwhile, most of her time is spent chasing make-believe dinosaurs, making messy art, breaking up fights and picking crumbs off the floor – and she wouldn’t have it any other way.

Thank you for hopping on board this blog train hosted by the inspirational Justina of Mum in the Making. Click on Day in a Life blog train to take a peek into a day in the life of other mummies!


~ www.mummyweeblog.com – a blog on parenting 6 kids in Singapore ~

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Walking with God as a Christian Parent – my Interview

I am extremely humbled to have been interviewed by Dr Phillip Towndrow for his new book, Walking with God as a Christian Parent – Developing wisdom for the 21st century.

 As Rev Ezekiel Tan puts it, “Raising a child today is more challenging than ever before, with an unprecedented range of influences and experiences making an impact on parenting decisions.”

 It is indeed not easy for parents to navigate the complex landscape our children are growing up in and with each of my 6 children, I am constantly learning something new.

 At the heart of the book are 8 personal sharings of how God has worked in the lives of these parents, with lots of wisdom to be found.

Dr Towndrow expertly extracts the pertinent points, guiding readers to avail themselves of the insights and practical advice.

Walking with God as a Christian Parent

The 8 chapters include: Intentionally Passing on the Faith, Sowing Seeds Building Foundations, Sharing the Treasure I have Found, The Parenting Project, The importance of Presence, I cannot Fail, Discipline and Parenting, and my chapter is titled – Walking with God.

 Here’s an excerpt:

 Michelle also has a deep grounding in God’s divine provision. She explains her personal circumstances in simple yet impactful terms:

 Even when it comes to my children and the schools they wanted to get into, my friends would ask, “Hey, what are your plans?” Everybody had plans. They would either send their kids to all kinds of tuition to get the necessary grades or they had other plans through sports or the arts.

 I had no plans. I had total faith in God’s provision of what was best for them. To me, kids should be kids. My third daughter just went into Secondary school this year. In the end, to everyone’s amazement, she got in through DSA (Direct School Admission) in a sport she’s never played in her life.

 I remember the day we went to church and I prayed so hard. It was funny. I prayed for two things. To get into her sister’s school, or a mission school. I wanted her to be involved in a sport that I didn’t have to pay for. And she told me, if the appeal was granted after school had started, she didn’t want to transfer. Within a few days our prayers were answered perfectly, just before school commenced.

 And that’s how I live. I know that things will be fine. If there’s anything I need to discern, I simply go to the adoration room in church and pray about it, with all my heart and all my soul, and I will get my answer, either through people, through the psalms in Church with touch me deeply, or other signs. When my last child started preschool, I wanted to do some meaningful work. I had so many criteria – flexible timing, minimal work during the school holidays, working with passionate people in an area I was interested in. It seemed a long shot, as I had not worked much in the past 15 years. I prayed about it, and the most perfect opportunity came about, with all my criteria met!

I like how Dr Towndrow concludes each chapter with succinct summary points and discussion questions for us to ponder about.


One such example is this question: “How do you discipline your children? Do you make a distinction between discipline and love? Explain your answer.”

I can see how this book would also be useful in small group discussion sessions.

Armour Publishing
I have been enriched by reading Dr Towndrow’s new book and I’m sure you will be too.

I’ll be happy to personally give away one copy to a lucky reader, please leave your details over at our Facebook page. Emails can be privately sent to mummyweedotcom@gmail.com.

Walking with God as a Christian Parenting is retailing at major bookstores @ $18.19. You can also purchase it online from Armour Publishing at a special web price of $15.46.

Wishing all a fulfilling parenting journey. Do your best and let God do the rest!

~ www.mummyweeblog.com – a blog on parenting 6 kids in Singapore ~


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A new phase of my life

As I perch on the cusp of a new chapter of my life, I stop to pause, reflect and give thanks.

It feels surreal.

Something that has been brewing for so long has finally come to fruition.

It has been more than a year since I had my first discussion with a speech pathologist about this new initiative, and our enrichment centre is opening it’s doors tomorrow!

Not only do we share the same name, we share the same vision and can almost read each other’s minds from the first meeting we had. I couldn’t have asked for a better partner to start a venture with.

 I have been running at breakneck speed the past few weeks.

Starting the day at 7am, dropping Kate off at school and going in to work with my team for half the day, picking the kids up after supplementary classes and dealing with their issues, sitting down together for dinner at 6.30pm and getting them ready for bed at 8pm. After that it’s back to the computer until around 2am when my brain stops functioning effectively.

On top of that, just this past 2 weeks, I had to deal with one sprained ankle, taking one to investigate her allergies, and taking two of them to extract their teeth and fix braces.

My essentials

To allocate more time for work, I had to sacrifice time with the kids. Thankfully the hubs wasn’t away much and he took over the lunch prep and taxi duties.

Kate has been spending more time with her older siblings which was great bonding for them.

On Hari Raya, #3 was going ice-skating with her friend and she offered to take Kate along. She helped her don her skates, take her in and out of the rink when she needed the toilet or wanted a drink of water and even graded her learning from pushing her around on the seal to holding her hands and skating with her without the aid after she gained more confidence.

There were days when I didn’t dare put Kate to bed for fear of falling asleep and not finishing things I needed to get done before going in to work. She has been really accommodating and would go off and find some jie jie to bunk in with.

It was quite amusing to search the rooms on my way up to bed and see her tucked in different beds depending on which sis it was.

One night, I found her sleeping inside a wardrobe! With the sliding doors open.

#3 had padded it nicely and made it into a secret hideout for Kate. We all had a good laugh the next morning when Kate said so matter-of-factly, “Yesterday I slept in the cupboard.” Oh well, these are the things fond memories are made of.

I really salute all the full time mums who have been doing this for years. It is not easy working a full day and coming home having to deal with the kids and running the household.

There were moments when I was working on the computer in the wee hours of the morning and wondering how I got myself into this busy state.

I guess once the cogwheel starts turning, there is no looking back.
Our signage is up!

I had to be really focused. No luxury of having a conducive environment or being in the ‘mood’ to work.

I’ve picked up a handy skill of being able to whip up my trusty notebook and carry on where I’ve left off.

I’ve worked at the BBQ pit of a condo while waiting for a kid to finish surprising her bff, at the car repair shop waiting to get the tyres fixed, I’ve even worked at mall seats while waiting for the girls to pick up their stuff.

It may sound strange but I am enjoying myself. I have been physically and mentally exhausted raising the kids for the past 18 years, dealing with teenagers and toddlers. At the same time.

Now that most of them are occupied with long school days, I can finally take a break from child-rearing and focus my attention on something I find meaningful.

When term 3 started, the kids asked if I could pick them up from school and I told them they had to take the MRT as I needed to work.

They were more amused than disappointed. “Mum! You actually have work?!”

I’m glad they are proud of me.

They have been seeing me as a stay-at-home-mum and never imagined I had the capabilities to go out and work, much less start a business.

#4 recently exclaimed, “Mum, you actually own nice clothes?”

Talk about tactless kids. I’ll console myself that they are just being direct.

My partner and I are taking this slowly and steadily, not over taxing ourselves or neglecting our families.

The hubs and I opened a spa 14 years ago and we failed miserably. Sars hit us in our 3rd month and hardly any customers came in and we did not have the cash flow to ride it out.

I teach my kids that there is a lesson to be learnt in our failures, but for the longest time, I myself couldn’t see the silver lining in our failed business and sorry state.

We went through a rough patch then, having lost a huge sum of money and with 3 young kids in tow. That time has passed, and the lessons learnt are invaluable to me today as I embark on this new endeavour.

No big capital expenses on rental and renovations but starting small, and focusing our energies on a solid curriculum and the children whose learning and lives we will be impacting.

And one of the most important lessons I learnt was to have a product that we believe in one hundred and one percent and finding the right team to journey with.


We have formed an amazing team which we have chosen carefully based on much more than their resumes. We are aligned with a shared sense of purpose which shows in the great camaraderie and respect we have for one another.

Who says hard work can’t be fun

This is the start of a refreshing and beautiful journey, of us discovering our passions, putting our hearts together to touch children and educate them in a meaningful way, which they can take away with them for life.

One thing I do miss is writing in this space. But now I have a new baby to tend to.


Exciting times ahead!

~ www.mummyweeblog.com – a blog on parenting 6 kids in Singapore ~
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A week in the life of a Blogging Mum

When people hear that I have 6 kids, they want to know how I manage.

I’ve heard that question so many times that I simply smile.

They look at me expectantly, almost demanding an answer, like “Tell me the secret, now!”

I ask them to read my blog because, where do I begin?

“You still have time to blog?!” comes the incredulous reply.

“Yes, and I am also working on 2 start-up businesses!” My excitement can hardly be concealed.

That is when they give me a look of utter incomprehension.

3 years ago, I gave birth to my youngest child, Kate, after a break of 6 years.

Close friends were joking that they can’t imagine what it is like to raise so many kids, having to start all over again, and the financial obligations we were putting ourselves through.

They suggested that since people are always coming to me for advice on parenting, I should start a blog and put it all down without needing to repeat myself.

They enticed me into the world of blogging by saying, “Bloggers get a lot of free things! Who knows, you may be sponsored diapers and milk powder.”

That was how I became a mummy blogger, and for the record, we still haven’t been sponsored diapers nor milk powder, although the journey has been nothing short of amazing.

The community of blogging mothers I have met, the people I have interviewed for my {101 Paths to Success} series, being on TV and radio, giving talks, being invited to pen a chapter in a parenting book and of course not forgetting the exclusive events we get to attend!

Our slightly large family

Last year when Kate started preschool, I finally had freedom after devoting 17 years of my life to my kids.

 Having not had a ‘proper’ job for that long, I prayed that opportunities would open up and I might find meaningful work which I would enjoy doing.

Things couldn’t have turned out better and I met people whom I connected with immediately, bringing synergy to ideas we had individually.

I am in the midst of setting up an enrichment centre with a speech pathologist. In all my years, I have never seen an approach like hers.

With my background as an occupational therapist, one main concern I always have is that the programme must be developmentally sound for the child.

Readers who have been following my blog would know that I don’t subscribe to the drilling-and-pumping-kids-with-more-tuition path, but believe in the acquisition of fundamental skills and real learning that stays with them.

In her work with children over the past decade, she has successfully crafted a curriculum to bridge our educational gaps and we are so excited to share that with other children and impact the way they learn.

 I have also been roped in as Editor for a crowd-funding social enterprise start-up which hopes to rally and inspire the community one story and one campaign at a time.

After hanging around little people for so many years, it is refreshing to sit with adults and brainstorm new and creative ideas, and have the time to actually work on them.

Cosy catch-ups at home

Even though I have taken on paid jobs, my priority is still the children and I work everything around them.

This is what a typical day looks like for me.

#1 is in a polytechnic and runs on her own schedule. The subsequent 4 kids are in primary and secondary school and they get themselves ready to board their respective school buses at 6am.

Kate wakes up automatically at 7am and gives me a peck on the cheek as my cue to get up and start the day with her.

She goes off to school at 8.30am which leaves me with 4 hours to do as I please.

My precious mornings. My mornings are all specifically allocated. I find that working on a strict routine helps me to be more productive.

Mondays are reserved for meetings for my enrichment centre, Tuesdays for the social enterprise, mid-week is Yin yoga with a group of mummies, Thursdays are for breakfast with the hubs, and Fridays are for catching up with other mummy friends.

These regular gatherings with other mummies help to keep me sane as we discuss issues our kids are facing and give one another support. That is also where I get inspiration for my blogging!

In a week, I usually get 2 mornings free when the hubs is away or when a meeting is cancelled and that is allocated to working on my enrichment centre or social enterprise.

12.30pm Already? I run off to pick Kate and my niece up from school.


Kate has lunch with her cousin who lives right next door (yup, the convenience is unbelievable) and that buys me time to prepare lunch for the other kids.

I try to accede to their requests and cook their favourite food as usually only 2 or 3 come back for lunch each day. Some days, everyone is back only at 4pm and that gives me 3 extra hours to work on the computer.

Best pals

2pm #4 and #5 come back on the school bus if they have no CCAs or supplementary classes and I make it a point to be home for them everyday after school as that is the best time to chat as they unload the events of the day.

Meanwhile, Kate is shooed off to shower and the hubs will settle her for her nap.


She is at the age of resisting her naps and daddy is way more successful than I am in managing that. His bait? 15 minutes of TV followed by “just a small nap”.

 Some days, #2 or #3 might bring their classmates or CCA mates home and will let me know a day in advance so I can prepare something special for them, usually Tacos or Mac & cheese bake.

I enjoy sitting down and chatting with the teenagers, to get a sense of what is happening in their world. These chats give me new perspectives and also spark new ideas for my posts.

Simple lunch

Kate usually has a 1 – 2 hour nap and if the older girls have friends over, I get a break as they love to entertain her when she wakes up.

The smartest thing I have done was to set up my work station in the living room so that when I get pockets of free time with no one needing me, I can work on my blog, creating content or writing reviews.

After lunch, the older kids will retreat to their rooms to tackle their homework, while I get one-on-one time with my youngest.


I either arrange a playdate for her at home, at a friend’s house, or we simply paint or do craft together, followed by playground time.

On Friday afternoons, I take her to church where she attends faith formation class while I volunteer as a cathechist. The quiet, spirit-filled environment not only grounds her, but is a weekly reminder for me to slow things down.
Faith formation session
Everyone sits down for dinner at 6pm, except for those not back from CCA.

7pm Time to wind down. I get #5 to shower and into bed and he falls asleep within 15 minutes as he is totally exhausted from waking up at 5.30am to catch the school bus.

I used to get both Kate and her gor gor to prepare for bed together, but they would end up laughing and playing for the next 1 hour which drove me up the wall.

It’s one of those parenting mysteries why kids seem to get along the best just before bedtime, while they can’t even get through 30 minutes without squabbling during the day.

My strategy is to stagger their bedtime and conquer them one by one.

1 down, 5 to go.

I fly through the corridors, doing a quick check to see that all mobile phones are at the charging docks and pop into the teenagers’ rooms (for those who were back late) to ask if there are any urgent issues, signing of forms, which require my attention.

The hubs will keep an eye on the Sec 2 and Sec 4 girls to ensure they are in bed by 10pm.


I get Kate into the room and do some simple tidying while she goes through her very prolonged bedtime routine of pyjamas, brushing teeth, putting oils for bruises or bites, arranging bears and doggies under the blanket, story time, prayers, and hugs and kisses, before finally turning the lights out.

I lie with her, and usually end up falling asleep as well.

I struggled with this sort of haywire sleeping pattern for the longest time, sometimes being jolted awake at 1am to continue the day’s unfinished work.

However, my yoga instructor told us that according to the TCM body clock system, it is healthy to go to bed early, at around 9pm, as that is the optimal time for our bodies to detoxify and rejuvenate.

Now, I sleep a good uninterrupted 7 hours of sleep and when my body is rested I automatically wake up, and if the clock shows that it is 3 or 4am, I jump for joy!

I make myself a hot mug of milo, get organised by writing my list (ok, I have not 1, but 3 to-do lists) and settle down to joyfully tackle the items one at a time.

It’s unbelievable how 17 years of motherhood has changed my perception of bliss.

Working on the computer in the dead of night without anyone interrupting my thoughts is something I look forward to. And ticking off those to-do lists one by one… Ah!

That is on a good day.
Silent nights…

On a crazy day…

While I am trying to get ready, Kate decides to get cranky.

Much whining and tears later, I drop her at school and head off for a 9am meeting. The day has barely started and I’m already feeling drained.

Thank goodness we decided to have our discussion over a proper breakfast instead of eating on the run.

Serious multi-tasking. As #1 is on term break, I take her along as she is studying a relevant course and I like to make learning alive for my kids as much as possible. Her schedule is very tight with school and part-time work, so this is another way of squeezing time in with her.

Besides, I love to try new cafes so that I can share them on my blog with fellow mums who are also looking for early breakfast places.

Casual business meetings

Our meetings are very energising and lots of new ideas are thrown up. We have to wrap it up by 12 noon so I can go and pick Kate up.

We get home and I am all prepared to make a nice lunch for the kids.

Somedays, I start with grand plans to make a fantastic meal, but the cooking just goes downhill.

I am stationed in the kitchen for hours as they stream in every half hour or so, but somehow the starving kids are grumpy because they were expecting something nice for lunch but have to eat what they term “Mummy’s sometimes yucky food.”

(Yes, improving my culinary skills is on my bucket list.)

That really gets to me.

 You know those days?

The ones where you have envisioned something nice for your family, tried your best, but the results are disappointing and you just want to throw in the towel and head upstairs for a good soak in the bathtub or a good sleep to escape from it all.

As if it couldn’t get any worse, Kate is getting really whiny and going on and on like a broken record saying, “But nap is so hard.”

Some days, I have more patience but on other days, I would be yelling at her by now.

The hubs is away and I have no energy to deal with it. Our helper takes her upstairs kicking and screaming while I try to regain my sanity.

Deep breath.

I make myself a hot cup of tea and guess what do I do to relax?

I blog.

Yup, it de-stresses me and I am calm once more.

Kate wakes up all too soon and insists on a cookie baking session, for her “picnic”.

An assortment of cookies

I am always for hands-on learning and try not to turn them down. Afterall, there is so much math concepts and fine motor skills going on there. And who can resist the smell of freshly baked cookies?

Halfway through, I have to head out to pick #5 after his CCA.

My brain is constantly buzzing like that. What day? What time? Who? Where? When? Someone I need to pick? Everyone accounted for?

Thank goodness I have a trusty wall calendar with 6 slots and that has been my life-saver for the past few years. Everything goes there and I never miss any event or activity. Well, except for the one tiny time when I forgot to pick my son up from school…

I rope #3 in to carry on supervising Kate.

Uh-oh. Looks like somebody got flour in her eye.

It’s only 4.30pm? I can’t believe only half a day has gone by. The cookies are in the oven, and Kate starts preparing her picnic. She wipes the table, fills up the tumbler with water and lays everything nicely.

We bought this adorable little set from Tupperware and the little one has been setting up her picnic every day for the past 2 weeks and ‘forcing’ everyone in sight to sit and join her.

Her picnic is over as quickly as it started, and Kate starts wringing her hands asking, “What do I do now? You tell me?”

#5, ever ready for some action, declares that he has no homework.

Like a movie, at this point in time, #4 trots down the stairs on cue, announcing to anyone who bothers to listen that all her homework is done, done, done!

Kate’s picnic

Suddenly someone shouts, “Let’s go swimming!” Followed by a chorus of “Woohoo! Swimming!”

Before I can utter a word, Kate runs to our helper and tells her, “Auntie Mary, quick get my costume! We are going swimming!”

And just like that, the agenda is sealed.

Again, I am ever an advocate for fresh air and physical activity, especially after a long day of school.

I give instructions to our helper to push dinner back by half an hour and off to the pool we go for some splashing fun.

While the older kids take care of Kate in the pool, I take out my notepad and scribble down ideas for work. The outdoors is always a great place for me to think and come up with fresh perspectives.

We get home and everyone has a quick shower, which leaves me with 10 minutes to sit with them for dinner as I have another meeting to attend.

Before I head out for our parents’ support group meeting in my girls’ school, I put the older girls in charge and remind them to get the younger ones in bed at the right time.
Evenings at home
Everything under control. It is always heartening to see the kids rise to the occasion if you give them the responsibility and trust that they will do a good job. No fights between them and no calls to me!

I reach home at 10pm and check in on the kids, and see the 5 of them asleep, huddled together all in 1 room.

I pause at the doorway.

It’s simple things like that which gives me a deep sense of contentment.

The hubs is away and I stay up to wait for #1 to come back from her waitressing job.
The house is quiet and I love this special time all to myself.

It might sound strange, but I reflect and sieve through the day’s events by blogging.

It’s cathartic.

I usually get carried away and continue to put in 2 or 3 hours of work and have to remind myself to call it a night.
Stand-Up Paddling
Unhurried Weekends. Gone are the days when I try to squeeze too many activities into our weekends.

Now that the kids are older, their school week is very hectic and they need the weekend to rest, recharge and decompress.

Blogging events mean family time. I have come to love media invites and sponsored activities simply because with the fixed dates, everyone is booked in advance and we get to spend time doing unforgettable things like Stand-Up Paddling or having a good meal with fantastic views.

As the events are usually exclusive or something i wouldn’t normally pay for, even the older kids are keen to join in, like the recent Disney on Ice show where we were given VIP tickets.

Our weekends are rather disorganised as it is hard to get everyone free at the same time.

One way we try to make things work is to get creative with how we can fit our activities in.

For example, Kate had a birthday party to attend in the evening, so we cycled together, with the treat of getting frozen yoghurt to entice the older kids, and Kate and I attended the party while the rest cycled home.

Extended family support. My folks come over every weekend and while Kate is occupied with her baby cousin and grandma, I have time to plan the week, settle the bills or just relax.

Grandpa is on hand to ferry them to their classes or to send them to run their errands.

Every Sunday morning, I look forward to going to church as that is where I draw strength from, and we would visit the homebound in our community after church.

With our weekends free and easy, I have time to nip out with the kids individually or in pairs to spend time with them doing simple things like shopping for their friend’s birthday present, while the hubs whips up delicious meals.

Jacob Ballas Garden

The paradox is that the more I work on things I am passionate about, the more energised and alive I feel, and that’s the engine that keeps me going.

One thing’s for sure, there’s never a dull moment around here!

This post is part of a blog train hosted by Singapore Parent Bloggers and everyday throughout the month of April, you will get to peek into the life of a mummy or daddy blogger.

Next up is Diana Ruth, a wonderful mum of 4 who blogs at Mum Craft. Hop over and see what a typical week looks like for her.

Related posts:

Here’s what a day in the life of a stay-at-home-mum looks like on a typical school day in our household.

~ www.mummyweeblog.com – a blog on parenting 6 kids in Singapore ~
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Birth stories of my 6 children

My first 5 kids were all born 2 years apart, and their birth stories went almost exactly the same way.


No Braxton Hicks, no water bag bursting beforehand, no pre-labour signs. They were all natural, with no epidural, and lasted approximately 3 to 4 hours long (or short. Thankfully!)

The height of the pain, where I remember uttering to the hubs through gritted teeth “I-am-go-ing-to-die” probably lasted no more than 20 minutes. I’m sure I would have begged for pain relief if it was any longer.

And after all that agony, I would declare to the hubs that I am NOT going to go through this again.

But I did. Again, and again. It’s funny how we forget the pain just as quickly.

Kate’s birth, on the other hand, was totally different. She was breeched and needed a caesarean.

Here’s their birth stories condensed into one post.

Kate, our 6th child

#1’s birth story

With #1, I was studying overseas and the norm there was “natural births”. So I went along with it. No epidural, no doctor.


We were given material to read, where I learnt that labour pains should be seen as helpful and productive, and the imagery of our pregnant body as a lotus flower, with the contractions aiding us to push the baby out. Pain is our friend, not foe.

Ok, I was brainwashed.

At 39.5 weeks, I was getting a little worried that there was no sign of impending labour.

I chanced upon a magazine which had an article “10 ways to bring on labour”.

I decided on the easiest, which was to go for a long walk.

I accompanied the hubs on the golf course and walked for a few hours. A day or two later, labour started.
I felt the first contraction in the morning. It increased in intensity very quickly and I timed it. Very soon, they were less than 5 minutes apart, consistently.

This was it!

The hospital was a 15-minute drive away and by the time I walked into the lobby, I was in such pain that someone quickly approached me with a wheelchair.

I was wheeled to the labour room without even registering.

The room was huge and cosy, and even had a jacuzzi!

I started having an excruciating backache and the 2 midwives filled the jacuzzi with warm water to try and ease the pain. I was barely in for a couple of minutes before I told them that the pain was unbearable. In fact, the pain in my back was worse than the contractions.

They got me out and guided me to the bed to check my progress and I was fully dilated! They immediately helped me onto the birthing stool, to give birth in a kneeling position.

Everything happened so quickly and I don’t even remember pushing.

THE BABY LITERALLY SLID OUT.

She was bundled up and placed on me, and the midwives helped her to establish some sucking. Apparently, if you do that as soon as possible after birth, it would improve the chances of successful breastfeeding.

We were encouraged to room in with our babies, and that night, I slept with her right beside me on my bed. It was such a surreal night.

Looking at this tiny living, breathing baby was a defining moment I will never forget.

The wonderment of having created a new life was at the same time incredible yet humbling.

#2’s birth story…

With #2, since my labour was so fast, I decided not to use the birthing stool.

Instead, I read that I should give birth lying sideways, and should let the baby crown for a few seconds to stretch the perineum before pushing baby out to minimise tearing.

Round 2.

The same sequence happened, but I was more prepared. 

When I felt the first contractions, I calmly fetched my hospital bag and told the hubs we had to go.

I informed the midwives that I wanted to give birth lying on the bed, on my side, instead of using the birthing stool.

I settled in nicely on the hospital bed, enjoying my favourite CD which I had brought along.

As the contractions became intolerable, I started screaming.

It must have been a hilarious sight.

Me lying on the bed, hubs on one side, 2 midwives at the foot of the bed.

Dead silence, then 3 seconds of agonised screams, and dead silence again.

This went on for what felt like 15 minutes until one of the midwives calmly said, “If you stop screaming and conserve your energy to push, the baby might come out sooner.”

She was right, of course. I stopped screaming, pushed a few times, and #2 was out. Done.

The hubs asked the nurse when was the earliest we could be discharged. As he had to cook the confinement food and ferry them to me 3 times a day, he was keen on having me home asap.

The nurse replied, “If mum and baby are well, you could leave after 4 hours.”

Beg your pardon? 4 hours?? Yippee!!

My mum was shocked to see us walk through the door that evening with baby in hand, and commented wryly, “You 2 look like you went shopping.”

For the next 5 days, midwives came out to our house to check on us, weigh the baby, and assisted with breastfeeding and other issues I had. It was marvelous.

#3’s birth story…

We were back in Singapore by then. After dinner, we took the 2 kids to a mini fun fair in our neighbourhood.

After walking there and back, carrying them up and down the rides, I told the hubs that I had over-exerted myself and my contractions would start that night.

I had come to understand my body well and could feel the subtle changes of impending labour.

I tried to get as best a sleep as I could, but it’s not easy with a huge belly and constant urge to go to the toilet!
In the wee hours of the morning, I felt the first pang of contractions. I had a nice warm shower and we got into the car.

The hubs assessed my condition, saw that I could still have a conversation, and knew that he had enough time to make a detour to the market to buy some black chicken. Yeah, the hubs is chill like that.

He drove home and quickly started boiling the soup. We then made our way to the hospital.

I decided not to have an epidural, and to go through it the same way I had done the previous times.

The environment here is a little different, and the doctor and nurses did not seem to be pro-natural birth. (Or maybe it was just my gynae)


I had discussed it earlier with him and he said their philosophy was to provide a “pleasant birth”.
As the contractions went into full swing, the hubs held my hand and tried to soothe me.

When I finally released it, his palm was bleeding. Oh well, they have to share some of our pain, don’t they?

#4’s birth story…

With #4, I was sick of entering the hospital with everyone staring.

I wanted to walk in, register properly, and settle in. Besides, with every subsequent birth, the labour was getting shorter and shorter.

No going to the market!
Bad move.

Once I was changed and the nurses strapped me down to monitor the contractions, it started slowing down.

For the previous 3 times, because I was moving, the contractions continued to get stronger.

This time, as I had not passed the ‘point of no return’, by lying down and relaxing, the contractions diminished in intensity.

My gynae had already been called and he gave me an oxytocin jab to hasten the contraction as he did not have time to wait around.

I was a little thrown off by the change of events, and with the lack of support for a completely natural birth.

The labour pains came on much stronger, and in the end, I took the gas that was offered and thank goodness baby came out very quickly, because I felt so horribly nauseous.

#4 cuddled by #3 (day 3)

#5’s birth story…

Finally. I was pregnant with a boy. To me, children are God’s gifts, and it didn’t matter if it was a girl or boy.


My dad-in-law and the hubs, on the other hand, were eager for a boy.

I decided to change a gynae, partly because he was not pro-natural, and partly because he was so popular that we had to wait for close to 2 hours for every check-up.
A nurse friend recommended a lovely gynae and he was supportive of my decisions throughout the pregnancy and delivery.

Everyone seemed thrilled, and asked about his EDD. (I guess the anticipation of finally having a boy after 4 girls was exciting. Or perhaps, they were all excited for me that I could finally close shop.)

His EDD was on the 17th, but I told them I would have him out on the 8th. Not only was it a nice number, but the pattern of his birthday would be easy to remember.

Caesarean? They enquired. Nope, natural birth. I was so seasoned that I could “tell” my body to go into labour.
Upon reaching the hospital, I informed them that the doctor’s instructions was to call him immediately as he knew my labours were very quick.

He arrived at 7.45am, and was disappointed that I was so far from being fully dilated.

I saw his crest-fallen face and told him, Doc, don’t worry, I promise you can go home by 9.30am.

Well, I was a few minutes late. My boy came out at 9.33am, on the 8th, as I had predicted.

With #5, the hubs and I were done.

My one and only son

As the kids entered their teens, they started retreating behind closed doors.

The hubs was less involved as the girls became more independent and wanted their space, and I got annoyed that he spent more time playing golf than spending time with the kids.

Everyone was drawing apart.

I kept praying for more unity in the family. My parents were feeling the void very sharply as they looked forwards to spending their weekends taking the kids on outings, which they were reluctant to go on anymore.


I also didn’t like the way I had become. I have been scolding them so much that I had unknowingly morphed into this mean mummy monster. I prayed for humility.

God works in mysterious ways. He answered all my prayers by giving us Kate. She was born 6 years after #5.

This last pregnancy was more difficult than all the previous 5 combined. I had a nasty rash all over my body which itched so badly I couldn’t sleep. My gynae could only give me steroids, which I refused to take.

I turned to TCM and he explained that my body had shifted from a Yin consistency to a Yang. I had to avoid all deep fried foods, dairy, seafood, beef, and chicken.

I was miserable. No desserts, no snacks, no fried foods. Every meal was steamed fish, veggies and fruits. The rash also left rough, dark patches on my limbs.

I was bedridden for the last 3 months because my scaitic nerve was pinched and the kids had to push me to the toilet in a study chair. I had to rely on everyone around me for help. I learnt humility and compassion for the sick and elderly. 

For the first time, I became aware and grateful for every little thing, which I had taken for granted. Being able to walk, being able to eat whatever I wished, being able to go out of the house.

In my helpless and dependent state, I saw my children through different eyes, and witnessed the beauty in #3, who never wavered in assisting me through those 9 months.

You know what was so astonishing?

The birth dates of the 4 older girls ran consecutively, with a gap in the middle.

10, 11, 13, 14. We were missing the 12th.

The birth months of the 5 kids each coincided with 1 adult. Me, my parents and my in-laws. Only the hubs had no child born in the same month.

We were joking that if the baby was born on the 12th of October, the puzzle would fit perfectly.

Kate’s EDD was on the 21st, but as I got nearer to term, my gynae broke the news that the baby was breeched, and I would need a caesarean.


He had to schedule the date very carefully because it couldn’t be too late as I might go into labour. It also couldn’t be too early because my babies were all small, weighing between 2.6 – 2.9 kg, and this baby looked to be about that same range. He wanted her to pass the 2.5kg mark.

He did the calculations and said, “We’ll schedule the caesarean for the 12th of October.”

We were stunned.

On the morning of the 12th, we checked in for the scheduled caesarean.

I changed and was pushed into the operating theatre. The nurses asked me to please move over to the OT bed.

I told them that I can’t quite do that.

They looked at each other in bewilderment and must have thought this was a very uncooperative patient!

I was given general anaesthesia and off I went into dreamland.

I’m so done
Later on, my gynae told me excitedly, “Did you know that you had already gone into labour? Thank goodness we had scheduled you in for a C-section!”

How do Singaporeans say it?

Double confirm.

Guess her birth was really meant to be.

I woke up after the caesarean feeling terrible, in pain, and not able to move. The hubs put Kate next to me and whispered, “Look, she’s perfect.”

Just like that, everything I had gone through and suffered was worth it.

Kate will be celebrating her 3rd birthday soon.

I never knew a little child can effortlessly draw a family together, and bring so much joy to those around her.

I am also extremely thankful that I have this chance to finally enjoy every moment with this little one.

********************

This post is part of the “Birth Stories” Blog Train hosted by Owls Well. To read other exciting stories, please click here.

Owls Well “Birth Stories” Blog train



If you would like to travel to the previous stops on this Blog Train and read more interesting stories, you can start with this one here by Vera. She is a don’t-stay-at-home mum of 2, who loves exploring new places with her kids in tow, cooking up a storm and planning theme parties. During her downtime, she writes at Life is in the Small Things, sharing little adventures, parenting misadventures and everything in between.

At next week’s stop, we will be visiting Karen, a mum to 2 wonderful children who muses over at Mum’s Calling. She believes it is almost every woman’s calling to be a Mum. While fulfilling hers, she finds the journey truly rewarding and enjoyable. She is convinced that Motherhood is life changing and full of surprises. Over on her blog next week, she shares the birth story of her firstborn girl.




~ www.mummyweeblog.com – a blog on parenting 6 kids in Singapore ~





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Turning 40. Quite liberating, really.

Turning 30 hardly seemed like a big deal, but hitting the big 4-0 feels different. Such an exciting milestone as we are at the halfway mark of our lives. Kind of like a checkpoint.

What have I achieved? What else do I want to achieve? Am I happy? Am I living the life I want to live? Lots to contemplate.

As a mum of 6, birthdays signify two things. A party at home where I get to see friends and family all at one go that I normally don’t have time to meet with, and a day to myself where I can do whatever I want.

Icy cold beer, anyone?
We had a fabulous party over the weekend – good food (prepared by the hubs of course), great company and wonderful conversations. Which always leaves me knowing that I need to carve out more time to connect with the people I care about.

On my birthday itself, I had a whole day to spend as I pleased. Imagine that.

So what did I want to do?

Big decision.

I decided to get up real early to get the most out of the day.

I haven’t gotten up at 5.30 in many years, and I truly miss the mornings. The stillness and silence of the unbroken dawn. The promise of a new day ahead.

I put on my track shoes (ok, it was my daughter’s) and walked out the door. Breathing in the familiar smell of the morning brought back memories of my secondary school days. I used to wake up early before school and jog a few rounds around the condo. Now, I can barely jog for 10 minutes before running out of stamina, so I decided to go for a long walk.

There is something surreal about the morning air. It makes me feel alive. I should really do this more often.

Tranquility in nature

I made my way to the nature reserve and spent a few hours immersed in the beauty of nature. I need that every once in a while.

This year, I decided to spend the day with just 1 child. The bunch of them got me upset last year, so this time, #3 had the privilege of hanging out with mummy. Why her? Well, #1 has school, #2 & #4 would be badgering me to take them home soon enough, and I definitely wanted a break from having to care for the 2 younger ones.

We started off with a wonderful lunch at Alkaff Mansion as I love places with a bit of history. All that grandeur was not lost on #3 and she was a fine lunch companion. (Truth be told, I chose this place partly because we get 50% off with the Amex credit card. Doubly satisfying!)

Lobster Linguine. So good.

We spent a relaxing day shopping, laughing and having a swell time doing silly things. #3 is such a joy to hang out with as she is easy-going and doesn’t complain at all (hungry, tired, bored, none of that!) She was my fashion adviser and ensured that I bought more trendy styles.

It was nice just to allow myself a day with nothing on my mind. Everything could wait till tomorrow. I was going to put aside the to-do lists, paperwork, emails, kids’ logistics, upcoming plans and what-not cluttering my mind. It felt good having nothing to think or worry about (like a kid being left forgotten to be picked up). Bliss takes on a new meaning after having children!

Of course, dinner with the full force was a riotous affair as usual. I decided buffet was best as the kids could be fed and entertained with minimal effort on my part. The kids love Starz Restaurant at RWS, and since they were having a ‘kids eat free’ promotion, I went along with their choice.

I found a perfect way to keep Kate occupied throughout the meal. She had recently gotten inducted into our family’s love of crab, and spent a long time slowly digging out the flesh. #5 was also kept busy going back to the buffet table to fetch her 1 crab leg at a time (don’t ask me why it didn’t cross his mind to pile up a whole plate of it).

Hard Rock Hotel, RWS

It was one of the best birthdays I’ve had in a long time, and I was also immensely touched by their thoughtful gifts.

After the kids went off to bed, I had time to sit and reflect.


You know, it’s funny how life has turned out. When I was in my teens, I was not one of those girls who dreamed of having x number of kids. In fact, I remember wanting to be a nun! And there was another phase where I wanted to move to a remote place and be a farmer. I think the meaningless-ness of our rushed existence bothered me, and I was yearning for simplicity and authenticity.

I never had any goals of making tons of money, having a super career, living in a mansion, or marrying a tall, dark and handsome prince charming, like some of my friends had. I never ever imagined that one day I would have a brood of 6.

I just lived. I had great trust in God that everything would turn out fine and there would be nothing to worry about.

I am indeed thankful for all the blessings I have today. A basketful of children, supportive family, true friends, and great opportunities.

Gifts from the kids

Turning 40 doesn’t make me feel old. It makes me feel empowered. There is a sense of urgency of if not now, when?

When we were younger, fear or embarrassment stopped us from doing certain things. Now, I look forward to meeting the unknown face to face, and the encounters have usually left me the better for it.

One thing I need to do better is to guard my time well. Not to be afraid to say no to people or events which are not in alignment with my values. To know my priorities and let all else fall away.

For the past 15 years, my guiding mantra was efficiency. I didn’t have much choice because I had to get a lot done in the 24 hours I had. As such, kindness, gentleness and compassion were pushed aside. I was usually curt. Impatient.

I need to bring all of that, and more joy and humour back into my life.

The next decade looks very promising.

It is no more a time of searching, but of consolidating.

A time of being confident and pursuing with passion what I believe in.

A time of embracing and a time of giving.

A time to be me.

~ www.mummyweeblog.com – a blog on parenting 6 kids in Singapore ~