6 reasons why we love Polytechnic HBL

My daughter’s Polytechnic course went online at the start of Covid-19 and full HBL is still ongoing. She is studying Marketing and tells me that online learning is not very different from being in a huge lecture hall where the lecturer is way up front, and the students are behind their computer screens.

In fact, she is enjoying off-campus learning because she doesn’t have to wake up early to get ready and spend an hour getting to school. They have a lot of gaps between classes and she can use it more productively at home.

I noticed a huge difference in her lifestyle, and the pace is more healthy and balanced. Here are 6 reasons why HBL has been a positive experience for the family.

We see her a lot more

Previously, she would leave the house at 8am and get home after dinner. Although she has empty slots between lessons, it doesn’t make sense to come home. She hangs out with her friends or they do their assignments in school. We see her during the weekends and have to pre-book her.

With HBL, she is home everyday! Besides the fixed lectures, she is on zoom with her group mates as they work on their projects together, and she can eat her lunch while keeping tabs on what is going on.

green curry, yummm

Healthier home-cooked meals

At poly, they usually eat at the food court. Home-cooked food has less salt, sugar and MSG and she can have freshly cut fruits and salads. She also helps me prepare lunch for Kate and Kate is overjoyed to have her sisters at home when she gets home.

appetizer

Bonding with siblings

Once they enter poly or Uni, they have an active school and social calendar and you hardly see them. Just by being at home more, the in-between pockets of time allows them to spend time with each other. These are the simple memories of home they will remember and which will keep them close. Kate said that the best thing about this period is having her siblings at home!

sisters are the best

Taking elderly relatives for errands

My teens seldom get to visit their 90-year old grand aunt and she quipped that during these past 2 months, she has seen them more than in the past 5 years! She only goes out during the weekdays to avoid the crowds, and they are now able to drive her for her medical appointments and to take her to the wet market to buy from her favourite stalls on days they have free blocks of time between their lectures.

Teaching Kate Chinese

Kate is doing higher Mother Tongue and the work that she comes home with is beyond what she can cope with by herself. I personally do not agree with this philosophy whereby parents are expected to coach them with their daily work or resort to tutors. I’m glad the teenagers are home now to help out because her Chinese teacher has been dojo-ing me!

Saves time, saves money

HBL has freed up a lot of time, and she is able to save money on transport and extras like starbucks, snacks or bubble tea when out with friends.

She is hoping that online learning will continue to be tapped into as much as possible, with a hybrid of on-campus classes only where necessary. I do hope so too!

SCHOOL STORIES:

  1. When your son gets into fights in school
  2. My son the loan shark
  3. So kids can’t play once they start school?
  4. Things teachers say
  5. Lessons learnt from #1’s Os
  6. My son. There’s hope yet
  7. Who has an obsession with tuition?
  8. Paying tutors $250 an hour to do assignments?
  9. I didn’t even know my child was being bullied until…
  10. How I got my son to do his homework without nagging
  11. How #2 topped her level in English
  12. DSA. Yet another initiative parents have warped.
  13. Tuition – First line of attack?
  14. Why do exams have to be so stressful?
  15. First day mix up!
  16. The day I forgot to pick my son from school
  17. No more T-score. Now what?
  18. Tackling the new school year
  19. She did it, without tuition
  20. So who’s smarter?
  21. Why I do not coach my kids anymore
  22. My Best Parent Teacher Meeting EVER
  23. My daughter created a winning exam strategy
  24. 6 tips to really prepare your child for P1
  25. 6 tips to choose a Primary school
  26. 6 things to do in the PSLE year
  27. 6 tips to choose the right Preschool
  28. 6 tips to choose a Secondary school that is right for your child
  29. Our education system is starting to get exciting!
  30. PSLE results: Good or bad, what do you say?
  31. “Mum, just get me exempted from Chinese.”
  32. A huge jump in P6 SA1
  33. PSC Scholarship? WOW
  34. My teen in a neighbourhood school
  35. What the PSLE is really about
  36. How to choose the “best” Secondary school for your child

About MummyWee

Michelle Choy is an Occupational Therapist by day and mum of 6 by night. Besides the already very demanding job of managing 5 teenagers and one 7-turning-17 tween, she is also Founder of The Little Executive, a nurturing centre to develop children in areas like resilience and executive function, to survive today’s volatile world. She is also a parenting coach and has been featured on national TV, radio and print media.

Social and political views of our young people

#1 will be voting for the first time and has been following GE2020 closely. At that age, my peers and I were apathetic about politics as it didn’t seem to directly impact us and we took a stable government and the peace and prosperity of our country for granted.

Gen Z, however, seems to be a socially woke generation, hyper aware of social injustice and prejudice. When #1 was 16, she took up photography and ventured out on foot to capture the local streets. She came home disturbed, and showed me her photographs. This scene in particular, stirred up unease in her.

Who are these fellow human beings? She mulled over the fact that it is on the backs of these men’s hard labour that our shiny buildings are constructed, yet they are sitting under the hot sun on the side of the roads they have built for us, with cars zooming past them. They contributed largely to the foundation of our city, but are we treating them with dignity or we simply look away because it makes us uncomfortable? What could she do for them? Invite them home for a meal? Tell their story? Acknowledge them? She gave them a smile, waved and left with a heavy heart.

So what are some of the issues that our youths of today are concerned about?

#1 took this photo in 2015

CLIMATE CRISIS

Earlier this year, they watched in horror as bush fires swept across New South Wales and wildlife perished and became extinct. 2 big questions they couldn’t comprehend: why wasn’t the Australian government doing more? and if climate change was at the root of this and many other problems facing the world, why is the climate crisis not an even higher priority for all governments? They read how some countries are banning single-use plastic, proposing sustainable green recovery packages post-covid, and hope that our leaders are doing their part in minimising the carbon rebound while reviving the economy.

They believe that every individual has to be the solution, and have stopped shopping fast fashion and switched to eco-friendly brands, are against consumerism and buy reusable, sustainable and ethical products where possible.

They are also not afraid to speak up. During her Secondary 4 year, #2 had a session in the hall about environmental issues. Wrapping up, the HOD asked if anyone had anything to say. She stood up and gave an impassioned speech about how it should be everyone’s shared responsibility, that she was confused as her teachers did not walk the talk and the amount of paper churned out by schools was significant and she pointed out scenarios where they could do better. Her teacher shared with me that because of my daughter, she now thinks twice before printing anything and would consider other options first.

The covid situation heightened their environmental awareness and as factories were shut and air travel halted, statistics have emerged about carbon emissions. They discovered that aviation and fast fashion are the two biggest culprits in environmental pollution. They want to rethink our vacations as air travel leaves a huge carbon footprint, and it is better to move to a country for a year or two to study or work and explore that country, instead of flying to a destination just for a week or two.

The tables have turned. They are thinking through big issues which concern their future and getting us to re-evaluate many areas of our lives which we have stopped questioning.

FREEDOM OF SPEECH AND HUMAN RIGHTS

Gen Zs have grown up with a lot more connectivity to the world. #2 used to write fan fiction and made friends with teenagers from around the world and became close friends with a few. With technology, they were privy to each other’s daily lives, homes and classrooms.

They chatted about the differences in their school curriculum and discussed issues such as the LGBT movement. For example, her friend from Canada explained about the controversy surrounding their revised sex education curriculum, with different groups holding different views on gender identity and sexual orientation.

It got them thinking about the laws in their own country. They asked questions like why is Section 377A which was enacted in 1871 still valid and upheld in the 2007 review when people should have freedom of choice? While they understood that we are a conservative Asian society, they questioned the point of it being a criminal act if it is between consenting adults.

SOCIAL INEQUALITY AND MARGINALIZATION

They jokingly call our helper “our expat” because they tell me that by definition, an expat is anyone who lives outside their own country. Why should there be double standards and they be termed “foreign workers”? As a family, we do our part to take care of the workers around our street, and my kids would hand them biscuits and cold drinks.

They were proud of their dad when during the circuit breaker, he needed to separate his foreign workers and made the decision to put them up in a small hotel instead of letting them rough it out in temporary holdings. They saw the hubs interact with them and exclaimed, “Dad talks to them nicer than to us! And he treats them so kindly.”

While everyone was forced to figure out how to work from home, my daughter lamented that isn’t it sad for people with a physical disability? These are things that employers could have implemented ages ago, but sidelined. She feels that more needs to be done before we can become a truly inclusive society and a level playing field for all, especially for vulnerable groups.

Once, I took her to the market to take photos as I was writing about markets around Singapore. She was drawn to this sight of an elderly uncle with piles of neatly tied cardboard boxes, and wanted to capture his facial expression, but felt it might be disrespecful.

Methinks she has a flair for photojournalism. Her first publication – Scenes of Singapore as seen through the lens of a 16-year old.

#1 took this photo in 2015

Last weekend, the grandparents came over for dinner, and they had a robust discussion about the coming elections. They wanted to know who their por por and gong gong were voting for.

Immediately, my pro-PAP parents said, “PAP!”

“Why, por por. Please explain your choice.”

Their 80 year-old grandma went on to tell them how the government has been pivotal in building Singapore up, that they were born just before WW II, went through war, hardship, poverty, and experienced the transformation right before their eyes. From days of water rationing and eating rice with soya sauce, to having the opportunity to go to school and being able to make a good livelihood by working hard, saving up, and providing their children with an overseas education. “When gong gong was hospitalised, even in the 8-bedder, it was comfortable and the the bill was covered by medisave.”

“Yes, por por, we know the government did a good job for the past many decades, but what about now? When I graduate will I be able to get a good job? The cost of living is one of the highest in the world. And HDBs are so expensive we won’t be able to afford it. What about the foreign worker situation? Inequality? Minimum wage? Global warming?”

Grandma looked at her, confused. I could almost see the generation gap.

Gen Zs are far from being apathetic about social issues, and we as parents need to have open conversations with them, to guide them to hash out discussions in an objective and respectful manner.

It is too easy for them to get swayed by information shared by their peers, and I tell them not to simply accept everything they read or watch, be mindful of things being taken out of context, and to do their own research and look at things from both a micro and macro perspective before making conclusions. Pointing out the faults in systems and other people is not difficult. But to understand the full complexity of the problems, consequences, impact and trade-offs requires greater depth of deliberation.

I emphasis that there are multi facets to any issue, and beyond the elections, the real value of them as vocal citizens is not by being keyboard warriors, but by contributing meaningfully and working together to better Singapore. We tell our staff at work, when you come to us with a problem, please bring along some possible solutions you have brainstormed and we can improve things together.

We need a generation of young adults who are able and willing to stand up and steer Singapore into the future successfully. While it is a positive thing that they are taking an interest in the political scene, it is imperative that we give them a solid foundation of strong values, good character, open-mindedness, maturity and commitment to continue to build up a democratic Singapore, based on truths and sound judgement, not falsehoods, groupthink or rash emotions.

Our young people will soon be a force to reckon with, and their idealism and passion must be directed well.

About MummyWee

Michelle Choy is an Occupational Therapist by day and mum of 6 by night. Besides the already very demanding job of managing 5 teenagers and one 7-turning-17 tween, she is also Founder of The Little Executive, a nurturing centre to develop children in areas like resilience and executive function, to survive today’s volatile world. She also makes time to volunteer with children and the elderly in her community.

My teen in a Neighbourhood school

One reason many parents worry for their children and push them towards excessive tuition is to cross the first academic hurdle – the PSLE. I hear parents lamenting that despite MOE scrapping some exams, it makes no difference if at the end of the day, students still have to sit for the PSLE.

When I ask them what are they worried about? The majority tell me that they are concerned about their children ending up in a neighbourhood school because of the negative influence.

I had that perception too. I guided my 3 older girls towards mission schools for their character development.

When #4 did not do well enough to enter a mission school, we pored over the grey book and narrowed down 2 neighbourhood schools which had interesting niche programmes. We checked out the open house, spoke to the HODs, asked around if friends knew of any friends with children from that school and made our decision.

The first year was a culture shock for her. Coming from an elite school, she was used to chatting with classmates about their overseas vacations, which air pods to buy and the movies they are planning to watch together. With her new classmates, the topics of common interest were limited and she wasn’t able to make any close friends.

I did feel her sadness, especially when her older sisters brought groups of friends home and she wished that she had classmates she could bond with.

However, 3 years on, she tells me that she is happy in school.

At her recent PTM, I was glad to see her chatting with friends of all races, some from her class, some from CCA and others from previous classes. Her form teacher is a lovely experienced teacher and she had good things to say about #4. She’s not academically strong, but she tries her best and is always polite and cheerful.

My birthday present

She’s been writing me cards for Mother’s Day and for my birthday and I am so pleased to see that she has become such a sensible child. She wrote:

Thank you for everything that you do for us, it must be so so hard to raise 6 children! I really appreciate all the encouragement you give me too! And how much you believe in me! I am also super proud of you and you living your dream makes me see that I can too.


She took much time and effort to knit me a beautiful bag dotted with pearls and made me a set of jewelry. Look at the bracelet! She moulded each piece from clay, baked them carefully in the oven and strung them into a bracelet. She designed earrings in my favourite colour and completed the set with a pearl ring.

So impresssed!

I admit I was worried about this child, being a teenager in a neighbourhood school. What negative influence will she pick up? Who will she mix with? I heard horror stories of kids in Sec 1 who stayed out for weeks playing Lan gaming with their classmates and skipped school and their parents could not control them.

My other kids went through the dreaded teenage phase. Of rolling eyes, bad attitude and monosyllabic responses. Some came out of the phase quickly but some were difficult to handle for years.

My fears of her being influenced by “bad company” has been unfounded. Instead, we have seen the silver lining of her being in this school. Because of what she witnessed around her, she is more appreciative of everything she has. She thanks me for every little thing. For making her a healthy dinner, for buying her a special art pen from the bookshop or for buying back flour so she can make cookies. She has also developed great empathy for those around her who are struggling.

I remember during one dinner conversation, the older girls were discussing their grad night and problems in finding the right dress.

In the midst of the conversation, she shared what was on her mind and said, “Miram’s dad is going to jail tonight. He told her to take care of herself and her mum.”

All of us froze. We didn’t know what to say. What to think. Finally, one of the girls blurted out, “Why is her dad going to jail?”

#4 said, “I didn’t ask. And I don’t want to know. But Miram must be feeling really sad. I didn’t know what to say to her when she told me that.”

On another occasion, #4 asked me for money to buy a calculator for Math. It cost more than $100 and she felt bad that I had to fork out the money. She shared with us that she had a classmate who is feeling the pinch of this extra expense as she has been taking care of herself since Sec 1 and who works during the weekends and pays for her own needs.

She doesn’t take anything for granted anymore and when she askes me for her weekly allowance, she gives me a discount and says “Mum, this week I won’t be spending so much so give me less.” Although she finds school work very hard to understand, she is good with her hands and dreams of the day she can have her own accessory line and is able to provide for us.

Having this one child in a neighbourhood school with friends who have real struggles have opened the eyes of all the other siblings.

I’ve also heard from teachers that it is not only in the neighbourhood schools that children end up with bad company. Even in the so-called “better” schools, students do get into trouble, be it in boys schools, mixed schools and even in all-girls schools.

The stories that surround our teenagers can get pretty chilling. As parents, we should aim to build our children up with good moral values, which provides them a strong foundation to know right from wrong and be able to make wise decisions and stand by the values they believe in, instead of trying to shield them too much.

We can only do our best as parents. Sometimes, despite trying very hard to raise them well, they still end up giving us endless nights of worry. All we can do is to ride out the storm with patience and love.

~ www.mummyweeblog.com – A blog on parenting 6 kids in Singapore ~


Are we prepared for the teenage years?

We all know about the dreadful teenage years. Of raging hormones and irrational behavior.

But do we really know what to expect? Are we prepared for it?

Just as we start to enjoy the freedom of independent kids who can function without us, the next phase descends without warning.

As I started to navigate my way around unchartered waters, I reached out to those with teenage kids/young adults for advice.

What a vast difference from when the kids were little. We could relate to one another with similar rants of bedtime battles and sibling quarrels. Bonds were formed with fellow mums as we shared tips and supported one another through those long and tiring days. We could rope our other halves in, the helper plus grandparents to ease our load. We were not alone.

But this. This was entirely different.

Nobody talks about the worrying problems facing our teens. No two situations are alike, and there are no easy solutions.

As I spoke to other mums, the conversations were done in hushed tones. The seriousness of the issues poured out gripped me with fear. They were too real. Not something you read about in the newspapers. Some were lucky that their kids did not give them sleepless nights. But many others shared personal tales of a time shrouded in darkness.

There were stories of eating disorders, self-mutilation (sometimes in groups), being the victim of cyber bullying, peer pressure, depression, obsession with their looks and self-perceived inadequacies, inhaling harmful substances to get a high to escape from reality, relationship issues, negative influence from classmates, staying away from home for days, attempted suicide and other sombre tales.

Having to face just one of these issues can wreck havoc in a teen’s (and their family’s) life.

In some cases, it can be to the most heartbreaking extent where as a parent, you have to turn your own child over to the police after discovering something like drug abuse.

The tough decisions parents have to make.

It really is the most difficult job in the world. Nurturing children to walk the right path and being strong enough to face the pressures from so many aspects.

Nothing prepares you for the things you will come face to face with. With a heavy heart, you witness the consequences of the choices they make.

As a mother, their pain is your pain magnified a thousand times.

At this age, they are hard to decipher and you are unsure what to say or what not to say.

I’ve discovered a sad truth from opening up to other mums. Beneath the surface of good grades, affluent lifestyles and superficial answers lie secrets many mothers carry in their hearts.

They are yearning for a confidential ear to listen to their worries. And when the storms have finally passed, they are more than willing to share their experiences and offer advice to others.

Just because they don’t have the visible signs of toddlers hanging off their arms, it doesn’t mean they are not burdened.

Yet more importantly, what about the teenagers?

Beneath their sullen look and curt replies could be a torrent of emotions they cannot handle, the demands of school and life which they cannot live up to.

Be the supportive village they are so in need of. If you do not know what to say, it is better not to say anything. They are very sensitive creatures at this point in their lives.

To mums of teens, hang in there. It is going to be a bumpy ride. It takes a strong heart.

Be ever vigilant. Teens are so good at covering up what they don’t want you to know. Don’t take things lightly. No matter how busy you are, keep an eye on them.

Don’t be afraid to open up and share with other mums of teens. They may not face the same issues but will understand what you are going through and can provide the much needed support in troubling times.

A wise friend with grown-up children shared this:

Never give up on them, never cease praying for them. Keep on loving them especially when it is so hard to do.

Some moments, I wish they were little again. When I could scoop them in my arms and life was so much simpler.

~ www.mummyweeblog.com – A blog on parenting 6 kids in Singapore ~

{Interview #5} Professor Tan Huay Cheem – Cardiologist

Professor Tan Huay Cheem, 52, is Senior Consultant at the department of Cardiology at National University Hospital (NUH). He is also Director of National University Heart Centre, Singapore (NUHCS), and Professor of Medicine at Yong Loo Lin School of Medicine, NUS. He is a visiting professor to several hospitals in China and is an invited speaker to many international cardiology meetings. He is married to a locum G.P., who spends much of her time looking after their 11 year old daughter.
This initiative is part of our 101 Paths to Success series of interviews to gain insight into how successful people came to do what they are doing, and enlighten parents that there is a vast array of occupations for our children to discover. Hopefully it might spark an interest in our children and youths to start their journey of discerning their life’s path.

Your qualifications

Bachelor of Medicine and Surgery MBBS (Singapore)
Master of Medicine (Internal Medicine)
Membership of Royal College of Physician (MRCP) United Kingdom
Fellowship of American College of Cardiology (FACC)
Describe your job

I am a cardiologist, a heart specialist. Specifically, I am an interventional cardiologist who specialises in ‘unblocking’ patients’ ‘blocked heart arteries’ (coronary artery disease) from excessive cholesterol and fat deposits.

I do so by inserting a balloon through the wrist or groin artery to access the heart (coronary) arteries. I would first dilate the arteries (which fractures and pushes the deposits against the side of the wall) with a balloon catheter and then implant a stent (which is either a metallic or ‘plastic’ scaffold) to prop the artery open. That way, it allows for restoration of blood flow to the heart which can relieve patient’s symptom (called angina pectoris) and prevent heart attack. The whole procedure is called percutaneous coronary intervention (PCI).

PCI is a generally safe procedure with procedural complication rates of less than 2%. It can be really life-saving in patients with acute heart attacks. In these patients, their arteries are completely ‘choked off’ with no blood flow to the heart muscles by blood clot and fat deposuts; and by performing this procedure, the whole process of heart attack can be aborted.

This job requires me to be on duty some days where I have to be on standby for a whole 24 hours to be activated whenever a patient is admitted with heart attack. This can be very tiring especially when there are many heart attack patients who are admitted on the same day; or when they come in the middle of the night which deprives you of your sleep. In choosing this profession, I have acknowledged that this will have to be my lifestyle. My wife and family accepts it.
How did you find your passion/ area of interest?

I have always wanted to be a doctor since young. I still remember writing about being one as a young primary school student. I must have been inspired by the doctors who cured me of my illnesses when I was young. These doctors had left an indelible impression on me. To me, the medical profession is a noble and respectable one. Having become a doctor, I realise that respect from our patients has to be earned and not demanded. It is my wish that all doctors will continue to place the interest of their patients before their own, and not be influenced by extraneous factors such as financial gains or others.  

I have always thought that I would be an Obstetrician & Gynaecologist. This is because I topped the subject in my class. However something happened in my life that changed my initial plan. My mother, who was very close to me, had sudden death from a heart attack when I was serving my National Service as a medical officer. I found her collapsed in the bathroom on my return one day and started performing cardiopulmonary resuscitation on her till the ambulance arrived. She did not make it and died shortly after.

It was a shocking experience for me and it changed my life completely. My mother was only 55 when she passed away. She was simply too young to have died! I then decided that I would take up Cardiology, and specifically interventional cardiology, so that I can make a difference to heart attack patients in future. Although I could not save my own mother, I hope to be able to save someone else’s parent or spouse. I found myself to have a knack for the field and made sure that I was well-trained in it to serve my calling. Having performed nearly 10,000 cardiac  procedures both locally and overseas over the last 20 years, I believe I have made an impact to many people’s lives.

I have been working in NUH since my graduation 28 years ago. I still have many long term patients whom I had previously operated on, under my care. While I am definitely not the richest doctor around, I am very wealthy with the showers of gratitude and thanks which many of my patients bestow on me. That, to me, is the best gift.

Professor Tan Huay Cheem
Which aspect of your job gives you the most satisfaction?

My job as an academic cardiologist encompasses 4 main areas of work, namely clinical service, teaching, research and administration. I derive tremendous satisfaction in all these areas.

To be able to save someone’s life at the time when he or she needed you most gives me the most gratification. To be able to teach and train someone so well that he can treat his own patients competently is another satisfaction. To create new knowledge and to come out with new therapies to treat patients better is what I try to do in my research. And finally as a leader in the public institution, I help develop clinical programmes, manpower planning and participate in formulating public health policies, all of which are meaningful to me. What keeps me in the public sector, instead of going into private practice, is that I can be a member of Singapore’s public healthcare system which provides quality, accessible and cost effective care to the people of my country, regardless of their background.    
What does success mean to you?

I like the definition of success by American poet, Ralph Waldo Emerson:

“To find the best in others; to give of oneself; to leave the world a bit better; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived- this is to have succeeded”

I wish to be a blessing to someone every day, be it big or small. That is my definition of success. My work gives me the privilege to literally do that every day!

I owe all that I have to God. I hope to be an Ambassador for Christ, to testify of His wondrous works through my work and life.
Are you involved in any charity work?

I volunteer my time with Singapore Heart Foundation, a voluntary welfare organization (VWO) that aims to promote heart health, prevent and reduce disability and death due to cardiovascular diseases and stroke among the public. I am the Secretary General for the organization and am actively involved in promoting health in schools and the community through programmes such as obesity management, exercise for life, Go Red For Women, and cardiac rehabilitation. We also raise funds to support needy patients for their expensive treatment in hospitals.
One advice to parents

Be a good role model to your child for much of what he/she becomes later in life is shaped by you.
One advice to teens

As you pursue your dreams in life, do not forget that much of what you have is owed to your parents and the society. Learn to count your blessings and be grateful.
To be a cardiologist, it takes someone who is….. fully committed to the job with passion. Life-long continual learning is a prerequisite. You must also have three core values: empathy, compassion and effective communication skills. Take care of your patient like you would take care of your loved ones and do not allow financial gains to influence your judgement and management.
 

{Interviews} 101 Paths to Success

#1 – Dr Karen Crasta Scientist Associate Prof at the Lee Kong Chian School of Medicine


#2 – Jeremiah Choy Creative Director Sing50 Mega concert at the National Stadium

#3 – Elaine Yeo Musician Singapore Symphony Orchestra

#4 – Chong Ee Jay Cyber Wellness Educator TOUCH Cyber Wellness


~ www.mummyweeblog.com – a blog on parenting 6 kids in Singapore ~

Photos that tell a story – #1’s unusual perception

After I shared some of the photos #1 took at her first photography workshop, many commented that she has an eye for it and we encouraged her to  keep practicing and see where it leads her.

Coincidentally, she did a colour test in school and scored way above her peers in her ability to differentiate colours, even when it is just a minute shade darker than the rest. Things are beginning to click. Thinking back, I realise that #1 would always point out details with regards to colour first, before noticing other aspects.

One of my close friends made an effort to meet with her and these were some of the photos she snapped on their walkabout. I really like how she is starting to show her preference in shooting from angles slightly out of the ordinary, which results in images with more character.

People
Foreign workers doing an honest day’s work, with multi-national companies in the background. It is on the back of their hard labour which our shiny buildings are built on.


Beyond
The viewer pauses to take another look at a scene which has been photographed a thousand times. We learn to look at life and problems from a different perspective.

Peek
There’s something uncanny about the way MBS is framed from this angle. A structure so stunning emerging from the rawness.


Beam-ing
You get sucked into the photo, like how sometimes you get sucked into things without intending to.


Stillness
The water. Doesn’t it look more like the gravelled road? Things may not be what they seem to be.


I told #1 I was very impressed with her shots this time round too. They are different. They get me thinking.

She replied, “Yeah. I like them. But it might not please everyone. You either like them or not.”

I love how my kids dare to be themselves.

~ www.mummyweeblog.com – a blog on parenting 6 kids in Singapore ~


{Interview #4} Chong Ee Jay – Cyber Wellness Educator

Chong Ee Jay, 36, is the Manager of TOUCH Cyber Wellness and Head of Volunteer Management of TOUCH community Services. He has conducted more than 300 cyber wellness workshops since 2007, reaching out to more than 15,000 parents, educators and youth workers in schools, corporations and the community.

He represented TOUCH Cyber Wellness as recipient of the Singapore Youth Award in 2011 – the highest accolade for youth achievement awards in Singapore. He is a highly sought-after speaker and trainer in the area of cyber wellness. He is married to a fellow counsellor working with children, youths and parents in tackling cyber related concerns. She is currently studying her Masters in Counselling and they are expecting their first child.

This initiative is part of our 101 Paths to Success series of interviews to gain insight into how successful people came to do what they are doing, and enlighten parents that there is a vast array of occupations for our children to discover. Hopefully it might spark an interest in our children and youths to start their journey of discerning their life’s path.

Your qualifications:


Bachelor in Engineering (NUS)
Masters in Engineering (Bioengineering) NUS
Certifications in Social work and Counselling

Workshop for parents
Describe your job: 

I oversee the cyber wellness department in TOUCH, comprising of 12 full time staff which provides a holistic suite of programmes and services for children, youths, parents, practitioners, professionals and educators. 

I conduct parents’ cyber wellness workshops to help parents be more aware of the current cyber trends as well as to impart practical tips and teach them how to manage and engage their children more effectively in this fast changing digital age.

I also run training courses for educators and social service practitioners to empower them with practical diagnostic and intervention skill sets and domain knowledge as they work frontline in tackling cyber related issues such as gaming addiction and cyber bullying.

Besides that, I’m involved in para-counselling and counsultation, working closely with individuals and families in overcoming challenges at the home front – such as parent–child relationship issues and young parents’ parenting concerns.
How did you find your passion?

Honestly, I never thought I would join the social service sector. It all started more than 12 years ago when I got “dragged” by my university friends to do volunteer work in Mendaki by providing tuition support for low income families’ children. After a few weeks I really enjoyed my time there interacting with their children and being able to encourage them and help them succeed in their studies.

Back then, I already noticed that kids were punching away on their parents’ mobile phones (non smartphones) monochrome screen playing the then-popular game – Snake! I was very intrigued because such a simple game could keep them glued to the phone… what more in the future when phones become more high tech? That’s when the notion of cyber safety came to my mind. 

After I graduated from university, I decided to follow my passion instead of what I had studied. My parents were initially hesitant about my career path because they felt that I would be “wasting” my Masters degree and considering too that my Masters project had secured me a patent. However upon several discussions, they were agreeable to having me pursue my passion. 

I had a good friend already working in TOUCH Cyber Wellness and I volunteered for 2 months as a programme assistant in the cyber wellness enrichment holiday camp. Those two months were really eye-opening and allowed me the opportunity to work closely in mentoring the youths who had excessive gaming behaviours, as well as connecting with parents to help them better empathize and understand their children’ habits and how to manage them.

Since then, I came on board as a full time staff with TOUCH Cyber Wellness and have no regrets looking back at these past 9 fruitful years!
Which aspect of your job gives you the most satisfaction?

To be able to speak hope and encouragement to many parents who are struggling and feeling hopeless in dealing with their children. I also enjoy mentoring the children and teenagers, spending time with them and educating them on positive online behaviours. 
What does success mean to you?

Success in life to me means to be able to be a blessing to someone else. This is a fundamental belief that I have held on to since my university days when I started taking my life more seriously.

Are you involved in any charity / voluntary work?

Yes, I am currently actively volunteering as a life coach to a group of young adults. I also volunteer together with my wife in mentoring a few young adult dating couples and preparing them towards marriage. 
One advice to parents

The best way you can love your children is to love your spouse. And love is spelt TIME.
One advice to teens

YOLO – You Only Live Once… So make your life count for goodness and greatness!
To be a good youth worker (or youth coach), it takes someone… who is passionate and convicted about the importance of the next generation.


{Interviews} 101 Paths to Success

#1 – Dr Karen Crasta Scientist Associate Prof at the Lee Kong Chian School of Medicine


#2 – Jeremiah Choy Creative Director Sing50 Concert at the National Stadium

#3 – Elaine Yeo Musician Singapore Symphony Orchestra


~ www.mummyweeblog.com – a blog on parenting 6 kids in Singapore ~

30 reasons why my kid loves me

I was overjoyed to receive very sincere gifts from my kids for my birthday. #3 gave me a jar which read, “A bunch of reasons why I love you”, and she filled it with 30 little slips of paper stating why. Such a darling.

You made me who I am today.

You always let us go out with our friends.

You are very kiddy. (I’ll take it as I’m FUN)

You have cool friends.


You let us do things daddy doesn’t. (uh-oh)


You didn’t stress much on studies.


You are not a typical Singaporean mum.

You don’t care about our results. (It’s the process and progress, no?)

You raised us with proper morals.


Your cooking is still edible.


You raised an amazing kid, which is me.

I came out pretty, so obviously you must be. (woah, what a one-liner)

You are better than most mums.


You let us do a lot of crazy things.


You have nice clothes, which you don’t wear.


You raised me to be independent.

You are a cool mum (ahem. taking a bow)

You made me.

Wow. I was flabbergasted.

Have my girls really grown up? 

They attempted to create an art piece with Kate, although it did not turn out as expected. They glued the crayon sticks onto the canvass and blasted the hair dryer over it. Somehow, the crayons didn’t melt as it should. In the end, they got Kate to draw some squiggly lines. Still, I like it!

When #2 presented me her gift, I was so impressed. She made the effort to print out our photos over the years, cut them all nicely, categorise them, and stick them onto the strip. She did it on both sides and it unravels beautifully.

Handmade photo album

She went the extra mile by decorating the box, drawing on every inch of the paper and gluing it on. Can you spot the ‘happy birthday’ written on it? She folded paper hearts as a cushion for the photo roll. 100% for effort!


Personalised box

So heartening to see that all the sacrifices I have made in raising them is being appreciated.

Isn’t that all we wish for as mums?


~ www.mummyweeblog.com – a blog on parenting 6 kids in Singapore ~