Following on from my previous lesson about not over-sacrificing and about sparing a thought for myself, I’ve been prompted to write my bucket list in detail. There were so many things I wanted to do over the past 10 years. But as my hands were full taking care of the kids, they were relegated to a ‘Things I want to do when the kids grow up’ list which I stored in my head. A year back, just when I thought #5 was finally going into P1 and I will have plenty of free time while they are all in school, along came dear little Kate. But since I’m hitting 40 soon, I had better start to look at my list seriously and see if I can do one or two things each year before I look back and regret.
Take my mum on a pilgrimage
The last pilgrimage she went to was more than 20 years ago and I know it is something she would love to do once more, but dare not even ask for. I figured that if I don’t take her soon, who knows what might happen in future? She’s already in her 70s and may not be able to walk so much as she ages. She has done more than her fair share of looking after the kids, and I think it’s time we show her our gratitude for always being there for us without a word of complain. There will be a lot of logistic issues to work out before I can go, but I’m sure the kids will step up to the plate.
2. Volunteer with Samaritans of Singapore
I’ve always wanted to be a volunteer with S.O.S. to man the suicide hotlines. However, volunteering on a regular basis is still a little tricky at this point in time. I can barely find enough time to spend with the kids especially giving them one-on-one attention, so it’s hard to justify carving out a chunk of time to commit to the training sessions and the weekly hours. Well, guess this one has to be shelved for a couple more years.
3. Volunteer with Make a Wish Foundation
I heard about this many years ago and found it so meaningful. To grant children who are terminally ill one last wish before they leave this world. Perhaps I can find out if we can do this as a family, although the last time I checked, it didn’t seem suitable for kids to be involved in this.
|Pondering life’s meaning
4. Work in palliative care
Ever since I got acquainted with this aspect of Occupational Therapy as a student, I knew this was the area I wanted to work in. We were working with a lady who had a few months left to live, and she wanted to record down all the things she wanted to say to her little daughter. That touched me so profoundly, to be able to help somebody fulfil their last wishes and to have the privilege of sharing their last days.
(Baby step: I’ve started volunteering at a hospice once a week, till Kate goes to school and I have more time to work.)
5. Set up a cosy hospice for children
There is a hospice in Melbourne where the children and their families can check in to a wonderful environment at the last leg of their terminal illness. Perhaps we can have a homely children’s hospice here too. A place where the best medical care is provided at a cosy non-medical setting. A place where parents can safely put their child at while they get some respite from the over-whelming burden of caring for a sick child. A place where there are volunteers to spend time with the siblings and extend care and counselling to them too, in their struggles in coping with losing a brother or a sister. A place where there is so much going on for the children – play, activities, fun, with a whole lot of love. A place where life is celebrated, no matter how short it is, and where the focus is not on extending life, but on bringing the most meaning to the last days of their lives. I don’t quite know how this would materialise, but still, good to have a vision!
Not only do I enjoy writing, I very much enjoy talking. We used to get cold feet before a presentation, but once I got started, I couldn’t stop. When I was an undergraduate, I had the honour of giving a speech to the heads of departments of all the faculties in my university and I actually had a great time speaking to such an audience. Maybe I will look into giving some parenting talks but don’t know if anyone wants to listen to me, ha.
These are more frivolous things which I wish I had more hours in the day to do them.
I was reading about this as a job, and I would get such a kick out of hearing my voice on some automated machine. Will try that some day, just for the fun of it! I’m sure the kids would have a great time laughing about this one.
8. Attend cooking classes
I can’t cook to save my life, but I do wish I could cook nice meals for the family. When they were younger, they were happy to eat what I prepared. But now, they can tell that their mum’s cooking skills are really amateurish (especially my eldest), although I’m slowly getting better with the help of cookbooks. I really like how in some families, the mums or grandmas can cook so well that the whole family looks forward to coming home to mum’s home-cooked meals, even when they are adults.
9. Attend talks and seminars
There are so many interesting talks and workshops going on, and I love to learn and open my mind. Be it in investing, health and nutrition, or lifestyle issues, I wish I had time to learn more.
10. Take up piano lessons with Kate and #2
I did pass my Grade 8 piano exams, but I was taught the boring rote learning way. All technical. I want to be able to play by ear, to really make joyful and exuberant music. I taught the kids some basics, and #2 seems to have a flare for it. If we have excess cash, it would be lovely to enjoy some good piano lessons as a family.
11. Stay at a wellness resort for a week
Something like Como Shambhala, with 1 or 2 close friends. The Bhutan location sounds incredible for such a retreat. How indulgent. My 45th birthday present perhaps.. when Kate would be fine with me gone for so many days.
12. Spend a weekend at a semi-silent retreat
In our lives, there’s just too much noise, too much distractions (especially with so many kids!) I really like the sound of silence, where I can think, contemplate, and grow my faith. And to listen to my inner voice. What bliss. Don’t ask me why, but I still feel guilty spending time away from the kids for my own pleasure. Sigh. Occupational hazard.
13. Take a trip on the Orient Express
I’ve always wanted to experience this since I was a teenager. There’s something just so charming about luxurious rail travel. Must be the great advertising. Someday, someday.
Ok, done. I will pin this up somewhere and like how they say, when you visualise it daily, it will materialise.
Go ahead, write your bucket list. By penning it down, there’s a higher chance it will get accomplished. Don’t know about you, but I find great satisfaction in crossing things off one by one! And as life coaches will tell you, to make your goals happen, you need to declare it to people around you so that you will be held accountable. I’ve just declared it to so many people, hence they will surely be realised 😉 Let’s do this together, folks. Let’s live lives without regrets. Carpe diem!
“Our biggest regrets are not for the things we have done but for the things we haven’t done” – Chad Michael Murray
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~ www.mummyweeblog.com – a blog on parenting 6 kids in Singapore ~